July 15, 2013

How kind are you... to YOU?

She came into this world, truly believing that you were the most beautiful woman alive! The way your hair felt in her hands, the softness of your skin against her cheeks, the way your eyes would make creases, as you would laugh at all of the funny things that she said and did. Too tall, too short, too fat, too thin... these descriptions meant nothing to her. If you failed to meet society's standards of a pretty face, flawless skin, or perfect hair... well then she was completely unaware of it.  However, there was something that she did know... you were perfect, and you were hers. You were her mama... and she was so proud of you. 

Then one day while trying on clothes at the mall, she listened as you were talking to a friend. She heard you say that you were too fat to fit into the most stylish clothes. She didn't understand. She thought that you were perfect.

A short while later, she sat patiently and admired your beauty as you applied your makeup in the bathroom mirror. You sighed as you stepped back and gave yourself a disapproving glance over. "I guess that's as good as it's gonna get," you muttered. She was confused. Why isn't mama happy with herself, she wondered. She's so beautiful.

Frequently, she began to notice that you would complain to her daddy. You would fret that you weren't as pretty as you used to be. She loved to listen to you speak, so she hung on your every word as you outlined each complaint that you had with yourself: lines, lumps, creases, calluses, moles, blemishes, stray hair, gray hair, and crooked teeth... just to name a few.

Slowly the minutes turned to hours, the hours to days, the days to months, and the months to years... and somewhere along the way she became aware of the meaning behind your words. The image of beauty that she once had reserved for you, her mother... had slowly been replaced by the image that you had painted for her. Comments that used to make her sad, had become so routine that she didn't even try to convince you that they weren't true. In fact, sometimes she would finish your sentences, in an attempt to lighten the air.  

She had always told you that she wanted to be exactly like you! So, of course it didn't take her long to begin mimicking this familiar pattern that you had unintentionally established for her. One day while trying clothes on at the mall, you listened in horror as your beautiful girl gave you her description of her own reflection. You did your best to convince her otherwise, but she remained unpersuaded. Suddenly things became so clear. That day you made a commitment to make a change. That was the day that you determined to speak of yourself with worth, not only for yourself, but for those who love you unconditionally! 


Mama friends, although this is a fictional representation... the issue is very real. While I've always tried to be careful as not to belittle myself in front of my girls, there have been moments when I have failed. 

Don't paint yourself as anything less than lovely in the eyes of your child... GIRL OR BOY!! Imagine how frustrating it must be for them to hear someone speak poorly of the most important woman in their life!! Especially if that person is you!! They aren't just your child... you are THEIR MOTHER! Respect your children enough to speak kindly about their mama!! Regardless of how old your children are, start today!! Make a commitment to establish a healthy pattern in your home. One that involves building up, not tearing down!!                                            -Victoria Brake- 

These thoughts are some that have been weighing on my heart and mind. If you think that this is a valuable message that could help another mama to slow down and reflect... then please SHARE!!

Psalm 139:14 -"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."


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Sit Down and Take A Brake, with Victoria Brake.

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