Tonight, my heart melted. I use that expression in various forms... a lot. Too much probably, but sometimes I just don't know what else to say, well... when I feel my heart melt. It's an actual physical sensation, ya know?
You see, I've always wanted a sister. Always. I have two older brothers, and I love them dearly. We are very close, and I would put up a fierce fight to protect them. That being said, I was always a little bit resentful that I never got my sister. (I say that playfully.) As close as I am with my brothers, there is still something that they share with each other that's different from what they share with me. I mean, don't get me wrong... being the youngest and the only girl had it's perks at times, but nothing that I wouldn't have traded if it meant that I would get a sister. I used to sit and daydream about what it would be like to have a sister. I was aware that after I was born there were some permanent precautions that were put into place. Meaning... I was 3 of 3 with no chance for a 4th. Even still, I would imagine every possible scenario... maybe I had a long lost twin, or my parents would adopt a little girl, or maybe... just maybe, the doctors goofed up when they were administering those precautionary measures. Finally to come to terms with my disappointment, I would work to convince myself that having a sister probably would have been the pits. She would have been in my space and on my nerves. She probably would have been smarter, or prettier, or more likable. No doubt she would have been the favorite, I would tell myself. It would have never worked out between us. Then somewhere around the final scene of a knock-down, drag-out fight with my fictitious, imaginary sister... my mind would gradually shift back to a vision of complete harmony. There we were, like Susan and Sharon, reunited in The Parent Trap.
We'd be singing and dancing to our very own rendition of "Let's Get Together." Just as we were shouting out the final refrain of, "yeah, yeah, yeah", complete with synchronized choreography and hairbrush microphones, the music would fade and I would drift back to reality and to the realization that I still wanted a sister... and didn't have one. Where am I going with this? Well, my story doesn't end there. I know that God heard my prayers all of those years and I like to think that just maybe He was smiling down as He, of course, could see what I had coming. No, I never got my sister, but look-y what I did get....
Heart. Melting. |
Yes, I get THIS. I can't even say it's the next best thing because as far as I know... it's the best! When I wasn't daydreaming about having a sister, I was daydreaming about being a mama. More specifically, a mama to little girls. I imagined hair bows, and dresses, and frilly socks... oh my girls were destined to wear frilly socks. And one of my favorite things is this, ever so often and without warning, I have a "moment". You know, one of those heart-melters. It's like time stands still just long enough for me to soak in an image of perfected motherhood bliss. Many times when this happens, it feels vaguely familiar. Like a vision that once danced around in the mind of nine-year old daydreamer, and 20 years later, is now her reality. Tonight Beau walked in the livingroom with a big grin on his face. He told me to go look, that Teagan had fallen asleep in the bed with Morgan, and that they were all snuggled up together. I didn't know then that I was fixin' to have a "moment", but I did. See, the one thing I always wanted more than a sister, was a daughter. I'm so completely grateful that I was twice blessed. Not only did God give me a daughter, but He let me be a mama to sisters. It's everything I hoped it would be and greater than anything I could have dreamed up. I'm so thankful, and after all these years I've quit whining about the fact that I never got a sister... well, almost.
It seems like every day their relationship blossoms just a little bit more. Yes, there are times when a certain two-year old ruins the creation that a seven-year old just finished building, and tears of frustration are spilled. Or a certain seven-year old gets a little too motherly for the likings of an independent two-year old, and a siren of high pitched squealing commences. However, there are so many more moments that are completely blissful. Moments that hang in time like a snapshot in my mind. A vision of what I once pictured, and a memory that I will carry with me for years to come. I'm LOVING that I get to ride in the passenger seat and witness the beauty of a magical little journey called sisterhood. There's nowhere else I'd rather be.
Planning to be back in a few days, and I'm excited to say there will be a giveaway!! I'm ironing out the details with a very special Thirty-One consultant today!! Stay tuned!! If you haven't "liked" my Facebook page, please search for "Sit Down And Take A Brake" and give me a like! I hope that each of you had a wonderful Labor Day weekend. We spent the day relaxing with our favorite guy, who just happens to be the hardest working man we know. The picture above was taken at our bee yard, Beau was jumping off the hood of the truck to distract the girls from the fact that it was 90 degrees, we were being swarmed by gnats, and surrounded by tall, itchy grass. I wish I had a picture of his jumping performance! You're half way to Friday, do a little dance!!
oh my, your posts always make me cry!!! I love it! Love you and your girls so much! And Beau too! ;-)
ReplyDeletebeautiful :)
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